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Belongs to

Peter Veilleux

i don’t know how to choose – we had so many!  maybe one time when she was very little – about the size of a banana – we went hiking with my folks in the Sierra.  We came across a patch of snow which she LOVED!  She loved to run in the snow and that was the first time we noticed she had a huge smile on her face when zipping thru the snow.


I ran into my friend Edgar one evening in 2006 and he said ‘i have something really special for you’.  The night before, i had this dream that someone gave me something that was like a ball of light and it was with me all day.  It was a very intensely pleasant dream – like never before or since.  Edgar had 7 or 8 dogs and he didn’t know that his little chihuahua was pregnant until woke and saw her with two little babies – each about the size of a walnut.  So i went to see my surprise at his house and she was the size of a small avocado.  She was immediately drawn to me and didn’t want me to put her back with her mom even though her eyes weren’t open yet, but i did. I left for a wedding in the Dominican Public the next day and picked her up as soon as i returned.  She was the size of a small avocado at that point and lived most of her first month or so in the pocket of my hoodie.  And so began our adventure together.  She loved to fly and would lay on her back even for 6 hour flights in her bag at my feet.  She went to several countries with me and flew back east 1-3 times per year and she really loved it there in the country where she could be the queen boss of all these really big dogs!  and where the grass was green and soft and sometimes there was snow which she loved – even if it was over her head.  She fit tightly under my jacket and she just loved when i took her skiing like this.  Everywhere we went, people adored her!  She was a heartbreaker from birth.  

One of the more interesting things which happened was on a camping trip to the Sierra.  We traveled 5-6 hours on 4wd trails way up to an alpine lake.  She was a little bigger than a banana at that time.  We went for a walk around the lake the first evening and i looked down at her and she had two toad legs sticking out of her mouth.  I picked her up and removed the toad and her mouth got all foamy, so i washed it out with lake water and we soon went to bed under the stars.  Normally, she would fall asleep immediately when we went to bed, but not this night.  She was up all night long sitting on my chest and looking at the moon and smiling!  We couldn’t figure out why she wasn’t sleeping and then it dawned on me – she was tripping from the toad!  apparently, it acts like LSD or mescaline or something, but she was incredibly happy all night and then slept most of the following day.  It had some kind of affect on her from then on – it was like she could communicate REALLY well with me and other people.  From that night onward, we knew immediately when she needed food or water or cuddles or to play.  It was a noticeable change in her, which nearly everyone commented on.  And no, i was not the one tripping – it was just her.  This is a true story.  

She loved other dogs and even cats, but she was always a little bit shy with them until they got to know each other and then she was the little boss!  One day, i could hear her barking excitedly out in my courtyard and i went out to see what was up and she had 3 cats sitting in 3 different corners and when one of them would get up to move, she would jump and bark at it till it stayed.  This went on for awhile and when she noticed i was watching, she was so proud of keeping them cats in line!

In the end, she was blind and mostly deaf and her fur had turned white and gray, but she was absolutely gorgeous to me regardless.  But her body did hurt most of the time and we curtailed our activities and i carried her alot – sometimes all day.


It’s been a couple months now and i’ve spread her ashes in some of her favorite places – including the alpine lake where she tripped all night on the toad. I miss her every single day and all day too. She was mostly blind and deaf at the end, but for some reason, i wasn’t ready for her to go. I miss her so bad that it’s painful and i still burst into tears at some point everyday. I really want to turn that despair i feel into gratitude for the wonderful years we had together. I wish so badly that i had just spoiled the heck out of her at the end – and given her bacon all day long! But i am grateful that i did bury my face in her little body and tell her how much i loved her almost every day in her last year.

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