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Luna Azul

Luna Azul

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MARIA SIERRA

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July 17.26
my Luna Azul, as rare and beautiful as a Blue Moon, a Basenji mix, originating from the Congo. That is so cool! a year ago on 7.17.25 her physical body stopped. my goal is to celebrate her by sharing her with you. to shift the focus from the excruciating pain of regrets to the joy we shared for 11 years together. She was 14 y.o. i remember the day when the pain of regrets and what ifs shifted. around 5 months after that last day… it was a rare time when i dared to look at her images without sobbing. in the images i saw our love. i allowed myself to feel the joy and love between us. that day was the day the darkness began to lessen. it was the day i chose to shift my focus from pain to love and joy and gratitude and acceptance. that she lived her long life completely brings me great comfort and gratitude.
we met on 5.13.14 at a shelter where she had been returned several times bc of humans not appreciating her sensitivity. she suffered from anxiety, something i could greatly empathize with. i wanted to give her that empathy. i spent hours with her at shelter trying to give her some comfort and start building a bond. when i was approved for adoption i was told it was bc of the time i took with her. it is something i am very proud of. it took a bit of time for us to learn to trust each other. then she became my beautiful shadow.
i gave her the tenderness and patience she deserved and needed. i did that for our lifetime together. i’ve had to accept that i wasn’t perfect with her. the regrets of that haunt me. i need to recall all the love and care and joy and play we shared. those moments far outweigh my moments of impatience bc i was stressed about something, allowing the stress to leak out onto her. i’m proud that i became aware of this and changed so that i could contain my own stress and give her all she deserved.
favorite memories:
playing a game we named “Catch Me If You Can” that was created organically. when she was at a short distance in our backyard, i’d tap my legs and she’d come running with her flying nun ears flopping, pure joy and love in her eyes, she’d ran to me, then zip past me. the game was how often could i touch her half spiral as she zipped past. she won every time.
even tho she wasn’t fond of water, she would sit still and comfortable in the canoe at my feet, with her life vest on, she’d look over the edge. i was in awe of her calm and curiosity. so happy just sitting at my feet. as long as i was with her she was happy. as long as she was with me, i was happy.
i loved camping with Luna, sharing a tent, just her and I, out in her element. such sweet memories.
i learned to make her food from scratch and researched and learned. her tummy was so much happier. i fed her by hand when she needed it. she loved pineapple and plantains. she’d eat blueberries one by one from my hand. she’d get homemade birthday “cakes” on her birthdays and gobbled them up with joy.
 
her fur smells like caramel cinnamon…
her snores make me smile. the love in her eyes make me feel so important. i’m grateful for our videos and do wish i had taken more bc they give me something pictures can’t. i get to see her alive in her movements.
when she wanted to move from a space or go outside, she’d do a little tap dance with her front paws and make a throaty sound, not quite a growl. it was always my cue, time to go out or time to go inside or time to leave the park… and i’d obey.
she is my great love. she continues to teach me and love me and give me gifts of wisdom that comfort, strengthen me and help me keep going. our love continues to unfold and her gifts keep blessing me and keep me in awe of the depth and power of our love and connection. this has been my genuine experience and i am beyond grateful. she is my sacred spirit, home. I am Luna and Luna is me. this chant grounds me. we are connected. i feel her with me daily. i journal to her twice a day. i desperately want to be with her. my life is so empty without her physically here. i talk to her in my mind and out loud if i’m alone. she goes with me wherever i go. even when i’m not conscious of her, she is with me.
thank you for letting me share this love with you. i celebrate my Luna Azul. it is a strange experience to look back on these days prior to that last day. i didn’t know then what i know now that was about to happen. all of this continues to feel surreal.

Epitaph

My Sacred Luna Azul, My Blue Moon, as spectacular and rare. 

You are my heart. 

You are my home. 

You are my deepest love. 

I see the love for me in your eyes. 

I smile with your sweet flying nun ears. 

I smell your caramel-cinnamon scented fur. 

I treasure your joy just to be next to me. 

I feel your trust and our bond. 

Thank you for every ordinary day

that became sacred because we shared it. 

Thank you for choosing me. 

Thank you for letting me choose you. 

Our love and connection remain

beyond time, beyond the physical.

There is no goodbye. 

My Sacred Luna Azul, 

My Blue Moon,

my Spirit,

my Home. 

I love you. Te amo.

 Always and Forever.

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This year the Association of Pet Loss & Bereavement (APLB) is participating in Giving Tuesday, on December 3rd. Giving Tuesday is a global generosity movement, unleashing the power of people and organizations to transform their communities and the world. 

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